Northwestern Minnesota Synod ELCA
Bishop's Monthly Bible Study
April 2016
When death
intrudes into our lives we often become tongue-tied.
Someone we
loved dies, and we don’t know what to say.
We know we should say something, especially to those who mourn, but what
words fail us.
Too often we
murmur trite comments that reflect a sappy, “greeting card” sentimentality:
·
The Lord only takes the best.
·
God needed another angel.
·
Your loved one is still with you,
looking down from above.
·
It’s just her body that died--her
real self, her soul still lives.
In our
tongue-tied state we rely too often on comments that sound consoling but simply are not true. None
of these four oft-repeated comments reflect the deepest witness of Holy
Scripture.
Faithful
speech is always both loving and
true. This month’s study suggests some
alternatives to the untrue things we find ourselves saying in funeral homes and
at gravesides. We’ll also draw out some
implications of all this for our corporate life in the Body of Christ.
What’s
Untrue Here?
If you’ve
read this far you may already be offended, because you’ve not only said one of the four comments mentioned
above—but you actually believe these
words. Please take another look at each
of these four statements, in the light of our biblical witness:
The Lord only takes
the best. Nowhere does the Bible speak in this fashion. I we stop just for a moment and think
deeply, this statement cannot be
true. It is not only “the best” who die. All of us—the best and the worst--die. Moreover, what does such a statement really
tell us about the Lord? A Lord who
“only takes the best” sounds more like a sadist than a Savior.
God needed another
angel. These words tug at our hearts, especially when
we say them at the death of a child.
But there isn’t even a smidgen of scriptural truth in this
statement. Nothing in the Bible even
implies that you and I are angels-in-waiting.
Angels are another order of beings within God’s vast creation; we humans
are not “promoted” to angelic status when we die. You and I always have been, always are and
always will be human beings. Created in God’s image, beloved by our Maker,
redeemed by Christ, we are destined for “the life everlasting” (Apostles’
Creed) as resurrected human beings.
Your loved one is
looking down from above. This statement also taps into our emotions,
seeking to bridge the chasm between the living and the blessed dead. But again, this idea of our departed loved
ones “looking down” on us is not found in the pages of the Bible. Moreover, given the reality of sin and the
complexity of every human relationship, the notion of a deceased relative or
friend “watching” from on high may sound anything but comforting to some
mourners.
It’s just the body
that died—the real self is immortal. This comment strikes at the very
heart of the biblical witness about the nature of death and the “life of the
world to come” (Nicene Creed). Such
thinking is rooted more in ancient Greek philosophy than in the history of
God’s saving deeds in Israel and in Christ.
The Bible knows nothing of a disembodied human life—whether in this present
age or in the age to come. (For more on
that, read carefully Paul’s magnificent 15th chapter of I
Corinthians.) Truthful, loving speech asserts
that God has created us and will one day resurrect us as whole beings—a unity of body, mind, and spirit.
What’s
At Stake Here?
Many of
the comments people make when someone dies have no biblical basis. What’s worse is that they downplay or even
ignore God’s death-defying salvation in Jesus Christ. When we say these sorts of things we settle
for less—far less!—than what God reveals to us about death, resurrection and
the life of the world to come.
So what if
we took another run at the whole question of truthful, loving speech in the
face of death? What truthful, loving
words could we utter when someone we care about dies?
First, don’t
assume that you have to say anything—at least not right away. Often our desire to say something when a death
occurs reflects our need (the need of
the speaker) than the need of the grieving one with whom we’re conversing. It’s as if we have to fill the void of grief
with noise rather than live with silence in the face of death. Such noise can even be one of the ways we
deny death or avoid pain.
Let us
pause and simply embrace those who grieve.
Let us not hesitate to allow first words simply to articulate sorrow at
the loss that has happened. “I’m so sorry…this is so sad….we share your
grief.” What a mourner needs first
is to know that you are present, walking together on the journey of grief—and that
you will continue to be there for them long after the funeral. Our Lord Jesus, in his sobbing at the tomb
of Lazarus (John 11:35) and in his walking with two disciples from Jerusalem to
Emmaus (Luke 24:13-35) is our model here.
Notice how long Jesus the mysterious stranger simply walks with and
listens to the two disciples in the Emmaus story.
Second,
when we speak let us seek out words that are most congruent with what we know
to be true in the life, suffering, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. For example:
Your loved one is in
God’s strong, loving embrace. It’s hard to top St. Paul’s simple but
stirring words: “If we
live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether
we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:8)
Our God claimed (name)—and our God plays for
keeps. Speaking in such a
fashion is possible because of our understanding of God’s claim upon us in our
Baptism into Christ Jesus. The funeral
liturgy (ELW, p. 279ff) is so helpful,
especially as it reminds us that “we have
been buried with [Christ] by baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was
raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too might walk in
newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we
will certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.” (Romans 6:4-5)
Nothing, not even
death, can separate us from God’s love.
Such words reflect one of the strongest, clearest promises in the
scriptures for a time of grief: “In all these things we are more than
conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor
life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor
powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able
to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans
8:37-39)
God raised up Jesus,
and God will raise (name)
to
new life. In the four gospel
stories of Jesus’ resurrection we witness how God deals with death. Jesus defeats death—by dying. God defeats death—by raising up the
crucified Jesus. On the last day,
God—not death—will have the final word: “Christ
has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have died. For
since death came through a human being, the resurrection of the dead has also
come through a human being; for as all die in Adam, so all will be made alive
in Christ.” (I Corinthians 15:20-22)
Death
and Resurrection in the Life of the Church
There is
so much more that we could say about how to speak truthfully and lovingly in
the face of the encounters with death that are part of our lives. Let us conclude these reflections by
pondering the connections between how we think and speak about the death and
resurrection of individuals and how
we reflect on the ongoing experience of death-and-resurrection for Christian communities.
The church
of Jesus Christ, of course, will never die.
Jesus promised that “the gates of Hades will not prevail against [his
church].” (Matthew 16:18) But this stirring promise does not mean that
the church will not experience death-and-resurrection in the dynamics of how it lives and works within the
vagaries of space and time. This is
particularly true with respect to patterns for how the church organizes itself
to serve God’s mission in the world.
The church
may not die, but certain ways of “doing church” will come and go. We are often reluctant to recognize this,
though. We tend to associate certain
forms or patterns or structures or programs of the church with the very
existence of the church.
Our denial
of death—our discomfort in speaking about death—carries over into how we “do
church.” In fact, our fear of the death
of the “church as we have known it” is one of the things that’s killing us. What
if we regularly proclaimed that when one way of “doing church” dies, we expect the God of the God who
raised Jesus to raise up fresh pathways
for being church on the next leg of our journey?
What we
believe and proclaim about death can re-root our Christian communities in God’s
resurrecting action. After all, we
believe in the God who promises: “See, I am making all things new.”
(Revelation 21:5)
Northwestern
Minnesota Synod of the
Evangelical
Lutheran Church in America.
For reflection and/or
discussion:
- What are your earliest memories of a death of
someone who had been part of your life?
What feelings did you experience?
What questions did you have?
What words of hope did you hear?
- The study mentions four comments that persons
sometimes make to those who are in grief.
What other “trite-and-untrue” things have you heard (or said) when
someone dies? What other language
have you heard (or said) that witnesses faithfully to God’s truth about
death and resurrection?
- What in the life of your present congregation
reflects a fear of death (the death of some structure or program or way of
organizing for mission) that prevents your congregation from being open to
God’s gift of fresh pathways to “being church?”
This is the fourth in a series of monthly bishop’s Bible
studies during 2016 on the theme, Truth
and Love at the Crossroads. These
columns are designed to equip the disciples and leadership groups such as
church councils, for faithful and fruitful ministry. Feel free to use each column for personal
reflection or group discussion, e.g. church council meeting
devotions/discussion.
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