Wedding of Alexis Stadstad and Isaac Monke-Lundberg
July 27, 2013
Philippians 2:1-11 and John 13:1-5, 12-17
In the name of Jesus. Amen.
If
you’re paying attention to what’s happening in this wedding service, you know
that Lexi and Isaac are “up to something” this afternoon. They’re breaking the mold, setting aside familiar
patterns, thinking and acting “outside the box.”
That’s
because they want to share with us three things they believe about marriage.
First,
Lexi and Isaac believe that marriage is
not primarily about self-fulfillment.
Getting married isn’t first-and-foremost a way to pursue your own
happiness, enhance your own pleasure or tend to your own well-being. Marriage isn’t mainly something you do for yourself.
Not
that fulfillment and marriage don’t go together! Being married to the love of your life is
tremendously fulfilling—one of the best things that can ever come our way! Recently published research even reveals
that “couples in happy marriages enjoy better health than their less happy
counterparts over the long run.”[1]
Marriage
is fulfilling, but it isn’t primarily about our self-fulfillment.
In
fact, quite the opposite. Marriage is
about tending the fulfillment of your spouse--the one to whom you commit your
life.
And
there’s a weird math at work here, because love is something that multiplies
only as it is divided--only as it is shared.
Isn’t that strange? Keep love to
yourself and it withers, but share it with another and it “goes viral” in your
lives.
Marriage
isn’t mainly about self-fulfillment. It is, rather one of the best ways to show
forth what our lesson from Philippians calls “the mind of Christ” that frees us
to “look not to your own interests, but to the interests of others.”
Your
marriage will be deeply fulfilling for both of you, Lexi and Isaac. But your fulfillment will come in the
round-about way that Jesus sets forth:
Isaac, as you seek to fulfill Lexi’s life, you will be fulfilled…Lexi,
as you look to Isaac’s interest, you will find happiness.
The
second thing you’re telling us about marriage is that it is rooted in love, but love
always needs to be fleshed out.
Love as a stand-alone word is almost useless, virtually meaningless,
until it’s given a form, a shape, a pattern—until love is fleshed out.
And
you two believe that the best way to flesh out love is through service. You agree with the old adage that service is
“love wearing work-clothes.”
So
you’ve just done something rather surprising, maybe even unnerving to us in the
congregation: you’ve washed each other’s
feet—as Jesus invited all his followers to do in our gospel reading from John
13.
We
sophisticated 21st century folks can barely wrap our arms around the
thick meaning of what Jesus did with his disciples. When Jesus walked on earth, it was
absolutely essential to have clean feet after trudging down dusty, dirty roads
strewn with garbage and manure left behind by all the critters who shared the
road with you.
But
washing feet was one task that not even a slave could be commanded to do in the
ancient world—it was that demeaning, that distasteful a task. So in Jesus’ time everyone normally washed their own feet—no one would ever be
expected to do that for you.
….which
is why Jesus’ washing of his disciples’ feet was so shocking. Jesus bent as low as anyone could bend when
he knelt before his followers, one by one, and washed away the filth of the
road from their weary feet.
Today,
by washing each other’s feet, you are telling us that you intend to flesh out
your deep love for one another by serving one another—serving—and therefore loving—in ways
that will know no bounds.
This,
too, is definitely a Jesus-thing. As
followers of Jesus, you are falling into line with your Lord, who goes to any lengths
to flesh out his love for us—even to the point of dying on a cross to save us
and send us into his service.
Isaac
and Lexi, I wish you much happiness—in the romance of your married life, in the
joy and laughter you will experience, but also in the service to each other
that will be the hallmark of your life together in Christ.
There
is one more thing you want to tell us today.
And that’s that your marriage
isn’t just about serving each other.
Your marriage is also about serving others, serving the world.
Getting
married is consistent with your deep desire to serve others, in care for God’s
world. You have great gifts and
abilities that you could use to make scads of money and buy lots of stuff….but
you believe God has called you to the service of teaching. Your mission as a married couple involves molding
and shaping the next generation.
And
being married to each other will help you fulfill that mission in God’s
world. The support and strength you
will draw from one another will enable you to serve others, in all sorts of
ways, but especially in your work as teachers of children.
You
therefore help us all to see how marriage is one of God’s best ways of caring
for the whole human family. Marriage will be your launching pad into the world,
to become God’s hands and feet.
Thank
you for gathering us here, Isaac and Lexi, to learn from you, to bless you, to
witness your vows, and to cheer you on as you embark on the great adventure of
marriage—a marriage in which you will fulfill one another, flesh out love in
service, and care for God’s people and God’s world.
In
the name of Jesus. Amen.
[1] http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/happily-married-couples-healthier-study-article-1.1390124#ixzz2a9oq6GCl
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